Two-thirds of my roommates keep playing their DAMN VIDJAGAMES all the time. Matt played from 10-1 today, according to Trent, who is my sane roommate. I got back from class at 4, and he was playing with Jeremy until around 8. After an hour or two of not playing vidjagames, he was back at it and STILL PLAYING NOW. That is a total of 9+ HOURS TODAY!! Don’t know about Jeremy, who might be at his girlfriend’s house right now, but he’s at least gotten 4 hours in today. Answer me this: How the hell does he hold down a girlfriend? That would mean, theoretically, he’d have to be not playing video games at some point. Unless they game together, and I just don’t think so. Actually, since I haven’t seen her over here in a long time, maybe they broke up. Maybe Jeremy’s just at some alternate gaming location because he’s more self-conscious than Matt about his video gaming habits. All I have to say is that there’s NO WAY I’m helping either of them out with the bedpan after they get all obese and pimply like in South Park. But back to Matt: I haven’t seen him eat tonight. He must eat-he’s a human being, right? Maybe I’m wrong and he’s a robot. Shit, maybe we’re all just in a video game and they’re playing us. In Soviet Russia, Game Play You!! So I’m making up a word for people who play video games all the time: Kloons. Matt and Jeremy are Class A Level 5000 Kloons, which is ok except for they yell “GAY” and “RAPE” a lot, and that’s very offensive on many levels, even for me. Also, I’d like some peace and quiet so I can go to bed now. I can feel my social life dwindling in a hapless whirlpool down the kitchen sink just by being in close proximity to people who talk about leveling up to battle a level 7000 mage or some fucking shit.
