Dear Internet,
Today I have successed at deriving the Deen Butter Constant for Frosting. Clarification: when you have a recipe by Paula Deen that involves frosting, and it says to add X amount of butter, you add 0.5 the amount of X. I did this for my pumpkin bars and the cream cheese frosting was perfect.
The constant of 0.5 works only for frosting. I would guess that for the cake itself one would use a constant that is closer to (but still significantly less than) one.
Keep in mind that Paula Deen has her own SI unit named after her: One Deen equals four sticks (or one pound) of butter. Butter is implied in the unit of Deen, you can’t have a Deen of say, chocolate, or TX20 oma-1 (-) nematodes. For my cake’s frosting I used an eighth of a Deen where her recipe called for a quarter. I didn’t use any nematodes.
The Milne Constant is a measure of determining how long the teenage you will be stuck with braces for. When your orthodontist estimates they will be need to be worn for 18 months, simply multiply by 2.33. This gives you 42 months, or a total of three and a half years. How did I derive the Milne Constant, you ask? Regrettably, through personal experience.
I was going to think of some other very important constants that undoubtedly hold the world’s workings together, but they shall be tended to later.
